When your Husband’s Hotmail has turned “Hot”

These days it doesn’t take physical contact to cheat on a relationship. What may have started out as just friendly Chatting could easily evolve into Cyber-Cheating! Who knows maybe your husband’s Hotmail account has actually turned “hot” already. There have been some debates over this. Apparently the Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus divide has extended to each gender’s take on the validity of online affairs. How about you? Do you believe that an e-relationship could also be an emotional relationship? Or are you saying that virtual flirtation is just the same as having sexual fantasies – it’s normal & harmless, it’s all in the head and definitely not going to happen in REAL life?

Well I personally believe that cheating, whether online or offline is still CHEATING. But how do you exactly define Internet Infidelity? The absence of actual coitus doesn’t invalidate the sexual betrayal between couples, especially married ones. Sex’s major physical tool is the MIND so mental orgasms induced by sexual innuendos through e-mail or chats, or even SMS, are like termites that will eat away the house called Marriage.

There’s a saying, “What you don’t know won’t hurt you…” Sure, the normalcy of extra-marital affairs has increased through the decades. Sadly, there are more wives, than there are husbands, who are silently enduring their spouse’s “sin” by keeping their mouths shut… pretending, denying, and being blind to it all. I know of one wife who found evidence of her husband flirting with an old college friend through YM. It was the classmate from abroad who initiated the sexual tension by telling him that she used to have a big crush on him... that she was actually really saving herself for him… yadiyadiyada… The woman was also already married so that even makes it worse.

So the wife is asking me, should she tell her husband what she has just found out? Technically, the right thing to do is to confront him. Of course, it’s hard not to be emotional about it but I really advise for wives in the same situation to resist nagging or going on a Sharon Cuneta plate-throwing hissy-fit. PRAY to remain calm and then TALK. Look at the bright side – though your feelings of self-worth has been badly trampled on – at least the bigger emotional damage of him actually going to bed with that woman has not happened yet. But of course, any cyber affair is definitely unacceptable. In fact the time away from your spouse while you’re at the computer is already “cheating” in itself because you’re already depriving them of quality time. That’s why we have a new rule between my husband and me now – except when we have work to do, no blogging, no internet, NO COMPUTERS in the evening.

Wives, we are all blessed with instincts that easily tell us when our husbands are straying. So keep that radar on. You don’t have to snoop around his stuff. As a wife, you have to have SHARP ears. The first telltale sign that hubby is thinking about another girl is when he suddenly “casually” mentions the name of THAT girl who happens to be an officemate or an old classmate in most cases. Once names are dropped, then it’s time to hunt for clues!